Must Be Nice
Last month I ran a Kickstarter campaign to fund my fifth CD, entitled, "Interior Gaze."
So far, I have posted the background stories and lyrics for 5 of the 10 new songs from the album. Here is the story of another new song, "Must Be Nice."
A comedian once said you should marry someone you don’t like... That way, when your spouse is angry, you won’t care! I say, I am glad I married the person I like the best in the world! However, it does allow for major heartbreak. My husband and I have an amazing relationship, but it is not problem free.
We have emotional problems. David feels loved when the house is clean. I feel loved when I receive lots of affirming touch (not to be confused with erotically-charged touch). I am not naturally tidy; David is not naturally touchy-feely. So, if we do not work hard at speaking the other person’s “love language,” one of us tends to feel unloved.
We have intellectual problems. In addition to the whole male/female dichotomy, we think about the world very differently. David thinks: graphs, words, details! I think: movement, color, big-picture. Without consulting the other, we normally come up with two different answers to the same question.
We have spiritual problems. We each tend to put the other on a pedestal...you know, where God deserves to be! Guess what happens when our flaws flare up unexpectedly. It is disappointing, let me tell you.
Lastly, we have physical problems. Many times physical limitations present temptations not to love the other in the best way possible. Like this morning when I snapped at David because I felt fatigued. In the words of Christ, “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” -Matthew 26:41
I think the core of our problems is delicately described by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. In his book, “Three to Get Married,” he wrote the following:
In all human love it must be realized that every man promises a woman, and every woman promises a man that which only God alone can give, namely, perfect happiness. One of the reasons why so many marriages are shipwrecked is because as the young couple leave the altar, they fail to realize that human feelings tire and the enthusiasm of the honeymoon is not the same as the more solid happiness of enduring human love.
Here is the good news: for each of our problems, there is a solution! When we demand the answer from each other, we end up disappointed. But when we seek the solution together by turning to God in prayer, our problems are always solved (though not always immediately) by the remedy of a deeper love.
In closing, I will share the link for the lyrics: CLICK HERE. If you sense raw, newly-wed angst in my words, don't worry. Does our marriage have problems? You bet it does. But working through those problems in prayer together, we continually discover a more enduring love.
That, my friends, is solid happiness.